why me?

(me. not-so-patiently waiting.)

the past few days have been some harrowing, painful ones. let me explain. for some reason, i keep being subjected to and surviving the most random of ailments. it all started about two years ago when i was restfully sleeping and woke up to an itchy left hand, that sensation and weird looking rash also spread to my legs. hives. the allergist has yet to pinpoint what i'm allergic to.

six months later, after dancing the night away at a friends homecoming party in Philly, i was resting the next afternoon to awake to shooting pain in my right foot. i thought that was weird, but it passed so i went back to sleep. later on in the evening my ankle had swollen to resemble a 'cankle' and i was rushed to the ER in the middle of the night. i got many diagnoses ranging from twisted it while dancing...to an allergic reaction from an insect bite. i wobbled around in a therapeutic boot while hopped up on anti inflammatory and pain meds for weeks.

last month, after the news of the epidemic swine flu had just broken, i was at work feeling quite odd: fever, chills, and sore throat. i was certain i was close to death because i had just started taking public transportation leaving me easily susceptible to all these infectious diseases. it was tonsillitis.

(dr GQ's handiwork..)
this week, i manged to get an infection in my finger. again, no clue how. i sought medical attention after realizing the swelling or pain wasnt going away. my doctor..lets call her Dr. Gupta, assured me it was a simple procedure of making a small incision to deflate the swelling. Dr. Gupta...smh. you know you should be worried when your doctor says, "well, maybe..." after the procedure has already begun. she failed to treat me correctly and i had to be seen twice in the days following. FINALLY, Dr. GQ (thats what we're calling him. my mom was impressed because he was surprisingly black and young!) swooped in and properly treated me!

typing has been difficult as you can imagine so i'll close with shoutouts to the staff at Patient First...hopefully, you wont be seeing much more of me.

i carry your heart with me

if any of you have seen that wedding scene from In Her Shoes..or follow American poetry, then you may know this one:

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

written by e.e. cummings, 'i carry your heart with me' is now one of my new favourite poems (i realize i'm probably a little late on this, but im discovering!). i'm not usually one for the mushy-mush, but i can appreciate this poem because of two things: 1) it reads like a song..this could easily be spun into a radio-ready R&B hit and 2) the writer expresses a bold honesty in their feelings that i like. at first i thought it had a sadness to it, but now i realize he's just...declaring his love. here's to not caring what you feel.

its summer time...so anything goes!

Bugle on the trippple bounce riddim. its a little low budj', but i like the summer time feeling!